My Brother The Jerk
by Talvenlapsi
Summary: So... How did Jane actually take the fact that Alec found parents to himself?


My brother the jerk

Summary: So, how did Jane actually take the fact that Alec found his home?

Disclaimer: Thank heavens I don't own the Volturi or the Cullens, official books would have been so different that it's hardly realistic.

Warnings; my grammar sucks. But Snow is a jewel and tries to fix it.

Authors note: Well.. lets just say, that i didn't want to write oh-so-happy-end-they-are-all-together-as-a-family-story. Basically, 'cuz those endings make me sick. This is what happened in my mind. If someone does not like it, well.. it's not really my problem, aye? And yes, I know, I sort of said I would get this out two weeks ago, but then we hit to premiere at work and my schedule were bombarded down, oh boohoo.

-v-V-v-

"Well, that didn't work out too well.." mumbled a tiny, blond, crimson eyed vampire girl to herself, about fifteen seconds after her mentor's old friend's oldest daughter Rosalie Hale had run screaming inside their huge, white mansion and dragged her husband along with her. "And I thought she _wanted _kids! Guess I was wrong then." After all, Jane had just asked if they would like to adopt her. It wasn't rocket science. Because, for the record, their family had even adopted a human, which – to confess – was not a human anymore, but still! The Cullens were fond to the idea of adopting rare odd things.

With no success, she caught the next flight back to Volterra and spend the whole 18 hour flight planning how to win her brother's _achievement _in family-things. Not that she was fond to the idea of having parents, not at all, Jane was completely fine by herself (she had after all all the guards to look after her if it was necessary). She just hated the very idea of her brother to success in something she failed. So, in order to out rule Alec, she needed a family of her own. Not as an easy task as you may think, when one looks like a cherub out of heaven. Plus minus the eyes.

So far, there was no victory. Chelsea and Afton were not talking to her anymore, Sulpicia and Atheadadora had locked themselves to their rooms in order to keep her away, Rosalie and Emmett were, so to say, scared shitless and Aro was ready to kick her out of the castle.

So, Jane had to think. And she needed ideas. And a few helpers. Santiago and Felix didn't volunteer to the task, but they had no nerve to say no to Jane. She _was_ one of the witch twins! The ultimate Pain of Volterra, nightmare of Volturi guards. And few other nicknames and titles she appreciated.

"Find me a mom and dad!" She ordered strictly in her bell-like voice while running around the Volturi throne room. The triumvirate had fled the room the very second she had stepped in.

"Miss, you don't need a family!" Felix tried for the hundredth time persuade his fellow guard while Santiago were nodding frantically in background.

"That's not the point! I need parents to be better than Alec!" Shouted the blur that kept whooshing around the room.

"It ain't a competition, you know that?" Huffed the monstrous sized bloodsucking thing they usually called Felix of Volterra.

"Yeah, yeah, what ever. GO!" He was ordered by a very strangely acting miniature vampire. With that announcement Santiago dragged Felix out.

Three weeks later Jane had met seventy two families looking for pre-teen child to adopt. Most of the families had run out screaming, one or two had voluntarily and on their own initiative driven their cars of the cliff and for few families, had Jane had, ahem, _better _use. So to say. They were never found again.

And she still had no parents. So at the moment she was practically destroying the castle of Volterra by smashing everything that was on her way. Aro had earlier that day received a letter from Alec with a few photos of the now golden eyed vampire and his parents. They were on a vacation in the Malaysian jungles. He said that the animals there were odd but tasty.

Aro, Marcus and Caius were all in their private library when they heard two extremely loud crashes from the floor below. Even without thinking of it they knew it was Jane. I mean, who else in Volterra would dare to go around the main castle and throw things to walls? Yeah, I thought you saw that point too. Anyway, when the Triumvirate reached to the main garage of the castle, they met a sight of nearly completely destroyed Volturi limousine. It apparently had been thrown to the walls a couple of times.

"JANE! GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!" Roared Aro who was the first to recover from his shock.

"UNFAIR!" Yelled the female guard in question.

"GO!" With that announcement, silence filled Volterra.

Two days later Alec received two letters.

_Dearest Alec_

_I hope your well._

_YOUR SISTER IS A PAIN IN THE ASS!_

_If you need anything, help or something, don't be afraid to call me._

_Greetings to your parents._

_Aro _

_Prince of Volterra, Lord of Volturi, Patron of Nightly Arts_

and

To: Alec

From: Jane

Aro is a party pooper.

He said I'm not allowed to leave my room before Christmas 2025.

He even made me to get fed in my room!

And I'm not allowed to try to find parents to myself anymore.

Felix and Santioago are not allowed to talk me alone anymore.

Caius says hi.

Take care brother bloodsucker!

-o-o-o-

For some reason, Alec didn't respond to either of the letters. Who can blame him?


End file.
